NtsuabArt

and now a little about the author

Ever since I was a little girl, I have always loved all things artistic. I started drawing at five and doing cross stitch when I was six. By ten, I was learning how to sew and how to make barbie furnitures out of ordinary household goods. At one point, my grandmother said my head was too big and that I had too many big ideas. And the ideas kept coming. I picked up painting in high school along with knitting and crocheting. In fact, when I met my husband, he for sure thought I was going to be an artist. But I never really saw being an artist as a career, just something that makes me happy. Art is where I go to whenever I need to block out the rest of the world--my safe space away from the chaotic happenings of everyday life. It was personal. Too personal to share with but a few people.

I went on to college and graduated with a degree in History and a minor in Anthropology. I tutored Mathematics and English for a while, became a stay-at-home mom, spent some time looking after children in a daycare, and all the while, I drew and created, and brushed out my life in paintings. Pain, loneliness, anger, happiness, love, every feeling that I have ever felt went into my paintings.

It was during my time looking after children at the daycare that I questioned why I was not doing what I loved. Why was I so afraid to take the big step? Why couldn’t I just jump? Martin Luther King Jr said, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” I guess I lacked faith in myself. I have never really thought of myself as an artist before. I always thought my art was mediocre, at best. But mostly, I was afraid of failing. Afraid of opening this too personal side of me up to the world and failing so spectacularly that I never allowed myself to ever dream of even putting myself out there.

So how did we get here? To my Facebook page? To my website? To me finally saying, “Fuck it, this is me, take it or leave it?” Well, I would have to say that all the support I got from my friends and family over the years have really emboldened me to take this step towards doing what I love. But most of all, I owe this giant leap of faith to all the the love and support that I got from my husband, who knew at seventeen, that I was always meant to be an artist.

 

 

Youa Vang

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