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Ever since I was a little girl, I have always loved all things artistic. I started drawing at five and doing cross stitch when I was six. By ten, I was learning how to sew and how to make barbie furnitures out of ordinary household goods. At one point, my grandmother said my head was too big and that I had too many big ideas. And the ideas kept coming. I picked up painting in high school along with knitting and crocheting. In fact, when I met my husband, he for sure thought I was going to be an artist. But I never really saw being an artist as a career, just something that makes me happy. Art is where I go to whenever I need to block out the rest of the world--my safe space away from the chaotic happenings of everyday life. It was personal. Too personal to share with but a few people.

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I went on to college and graduated with a degree in History and a minor in Anthropology. I tutored Mathematics and English for a while, became a stay-at-home mom, spent some time looking after children in a daycare, and all the while, I drew and created, and brushed out my life in paintings. Pain, loneliness, anger, happiness, love, every feeling that I have ever felt went into my paintings.

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It was during my time looking after children at the daycare that I questioned why I was not doing what I loved. Why was I so afraid to take the big step? Why couldn’t I just jump? Martin Luther King Jr said, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” I guess I lacked faith in myself. I have never really thought of myself as an artist before. I always thought my art was mediocre, at best. But mostly, I was afraid of failing. Afraid of opening this too personal side of me up to the world and failing so spectacularly that I never allowed myself to ever dream of even putting myself out there.

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So how did we get here? To my Facebook page? To my website? To me finally saying, “Fuck it, this is me, take it or leave it?” Well, I would have to say that all the support I got from my friends and family over the years have really emboldened me to take this step towards doing what I love. But most of all, I owe this giant leap of faith to all the the love and support that I got from my husband, who knew at seventeen, that I was always meant to be an artist.

 

 

Youa Vang